Why deliberately training our children is important?

As parents, we are constantly training our children but in most cases we are unconscious about it. However, we should strive to deliberately train our children. We instinctively train them how to walk, to ride a bike, how to talk and how to communicate. We also train them on how to behave and on what is expected of them as a family member. The goal is for them to become decent citizens. Naturally we are good at training, we issue instructions, corrections, evaluate and applaud their behaviour. However, if we are deliberate in training them, we will have more success, highlight areas that need improvement quicker and increase our patience with the whole process.

Our responses to the way they behave is an indication of whether we approve or not. Somethings are harder than others and some take longer. To deliberately train our children, we will need to do some planning. You will need to determine before hand what success would look like and/or indicators of success. You will also need to ascertain your exit strategy. The hardest part of training a child, is the point at which you need to let go so the child can be. The child needs to be able to do what you have been training him/her on their own. It is an issue of trust.

Do you trust them to do it right, do you trust them to do it well, do you trust that they won’t fail? The whole idea of training children is to get them ready to do things on their own. Therefore we train children to be independent. An exit strategy is the point at which you take a risk and trust that the child has learnt enough to do it on their own. This is a scary thing, the point where you determine that you have taught the child enough to take the risk and the child is confident they can do it on their own. This requires a strong element of trust on the part of the parent that the child is capable and ready.

On the part of the children it reinforces courage, boldness and confidence in their own abilities and confidence in their parent’s judgment. Therefore success is determined when the child confidently displays he/her abilities to perform the task or skill unaided. We also realise success when it ceases to be an issue and it actually becomes part of the routine.

Children have a positive attitude to learning which we as adults should emulate spiritually. Children are born aware of the fact they don’t know everything. Their willingness to learn is very refreshing. As adults we tend to think we know it all and resist instruction to our own detriment.