Today is the anniversary of my husband’s death
The God who sees, forgives and gives second chances
June 9, 2023
How significant is God’s word?
August 17, 2023Today is the anniversary of my dear husband’s death. Ed passed away a year ago. It is hard to believe a whole year has gone by. It feels surreal. I miss his smile, his stubbornness, his determination to succeed and his very essence. I miss him every single day, some days more than others but I am grateful that I get to see bits of him in our children, David and Maryanne. The way David is meticulous and takes his responsibilities serious (sometimes way too seriously😎). The way Maryanne teases me and frets around me just like her father.
I get inundated with memories whenever I see red roses, when an image flashes up on the ever helpful google photos, when I bump into one of his close friends or when I visit one of our favourite eating places. Don’t even get me started on when I hear certain songs! Since he has been gone I have been astonished about the amount of data I collected about him in my mind and in my heart. Just the little things he used to do that seemed inconsequential but now I notice because of their glaring absence.
It has been hard but not impossible, I have shed many tears but I have also had joyful moments. The biggest shock I had to endure is that time did not standstill. Time did not say “let’s give Anna a break, pause and move again when she is ready”. I am so grateful that my heavenly Father and my awesome big brother Jesus stepped in and held me up! They wiped my tears, endured my ‘feeling sorry for myself’ moments. They loved me through it all by sending people to check on me and they persuaded people to support me. Gosh! I received flowers, we received financial support and we received food packages. I have not lacked, we have not lacked. Am grateful for all the acts of kindness that have peppered the lives of the kids and I.
So as I reflect on this day, I am sad that he left this life too early. I wish he was here to witness the good things that are happening to the kids and I. But in my heart I believe he is in a better place and that we will see him again. Trust in the God we both believed in is the foundation of this belief, that His word is true and that He can be trusted. Rest in Eternal Peace dear husband and friend Edward.
15 Comments
Dearest Mame David,
I have no words that can describe this day. I don’t know how to handle the memory but I know that God is in control. It is well and shall continue to be well with you. You gained an angel in Heaven
Ed is proud of you for sure. You have done well and his legacy lives on. Thanks for holding it together for all of us.
We love you soo much Anna and we appreciate you.
Anna,
I cannot imagine or pretend to know what it was like a year ago, what it has been like today and in the moments in between. I have prayed for you and the children often but sometimes I don’t even know what to say.
I thank you for urging me to keep reading your blog. It says that even in this difficulty, you have drawn from the strength of God and dug from within your deepest parts. It must take so much courage and I applaud you. I continue to offer a prayer for you and David and Maryanne. You have my support and time.
Beautiful tribute. You have done well, as a wife and as a mom… You have been strong , really strong..may God continue lighting your way, as you bring up your lovely small family…IT IS WELL…
Mama to my loving Pumpkin as I always called her. I am proud of you. God gave you the grace to hold your head up and keep pushing and make your husband proud. You have not let him down I pray for you each day I see your lovely encouraging post. 😊 keep doing what you love and never give up. Keep smiling .
Anna, all I can say is that God is in control, He has and continues to walk this journey with you and the kids. What an awesome tribute you have given of your late husband Ed. May the Lord continue to be your pillar of strength, provider and your comforter. May His peace that surpasses all understanding be with you and your family.
Reading your words a year after Ed rested brings very fresh memories of him . What stands out is that God and Jesus helped you walk the journey. May Gods grace keep you moving days ahead . Shalom
Trizzer
Anna, may the Lord continue to hold you close as you Journey through the seasons of your life. May His peace and Love carry you and the children. Love always Martha.
This is beautiful! I am in awe at your consistency to even continue to write and encourage us in the faith journey through your posts. Well in Anna! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Praying for continued help, providence, strength and grace to you and the kids.
May Ed’s soul continue to rest in peace.
Wow. Yes time flys. Every step of the way the Lord is near his own, no matter what.
Am reminded of the story of a man who walks along life’s journey. In normal life, he sees two pairs of footsteps. One his and the other his saviour
In difficult times he only sees one set. He wonders why the saviour would have left in the toughest of times, when he needed him the most. The Lord however replies. “In the toughest times I carried you in my arms”
That’s who the Lord is to his children. May the Lord continue to walk with you always. Let this assurance be certain at all times. “I’ll never leave you nor forsake you”.
Thanks for sharing. Ann, am always challenged be your positive attitude.
God bless you
Dearest Anna,
I can’t believe the year has gone by so fast! I’m comforted to read that your strong faith is carrying you along your journey. Please know that we have you and the kids in our prayers and in the end, everything will be ok. Sending you warm hugs. 💕
Hello Anna, Thanks for sharing.
May you husband’s memory always remain in your and your children’s hearts, and may the Lord continue to strengthen you and be your refuge each day.
Warmly
Irene
Yes indeed time flies, thank you for sharing and yes the Lord says that he is the husband to the widow and father to the fatherless. He is a promise keeping God.keep hold on his word, He is faithful and caring will not leave you alone… blessings to you, David and Maryanne
Dear Anna, I hear you when you say time should stand still and give you a break. I felt the same way when my sister passed on.
You’ve written a wonderful tribute. May you continue to lean on God as you walk this journey called life with its ups and downs.
Sending you a MEGA BIG hug!
Your post is deep, Anna Marie. I read and feel the loss, I sense and smile at the happy memories you have, the ever-present Ed that you see through the kids who carry his DNA and attributes, the hope and comfort that has carried you for the entire year, and God, who as promised, has never left you and has been by you every single moment – a whole bag of everything all together. What can I say? May you continually experience the Lord’s goodness and favor as He watches over you. Many hugs!!
The heritage of your belief in God is real one year on. God has granted you the grace of this big shoe indeed and He is causing you to fit. I am grateful to Him for you. Love for you and family in this season. I am learning a lot from you. Shalom.