UPDATE
It has taken approximately two years and eight months but I think it has finally started to sink in that I am a widow. My dear husband and best friend passed away on June 14th, 2022.
In year one I think I was preoccupied with living, doing the things needed to keep the show on the road. Our dream home that was under construction needed a lot of attention and money and so I didn’t have too much bandwidth to dwell on my bereavement. Don’t get me wrong, I knew he was gone, I witnessed him being buried. I think I processed his death to the best of my ability then and I was and I am still sure and assured that he is in a better place albeit just not with me.
Year two came and went and now as I approach year 3 I am able to say I am a widow without the word getting stuck in my throat nor do I feel the threat of tears piling up high behind my eyelids. I still need to take a deep breath though before declaring my status and I have to gulp in a steadying breath afterwards.
I was a wife for just shy of 16 years, life with Ed was not always a picnic but it was beautiful, thriving and interesting, never a dull moment. He allowed me to be the truest version of myself and he was intentional about me being a decent human. I miss him every day I draw breath and luckily because God is on my side, it no longer has a crippling effect on my ability to be present in the life I now live. My sincere hope is that my children, family, friends and the people around me can attest to the fact that though for a while it looked like I was not steady and that I was standing on shaky ground, they can now say that I am almost a 100% back. I look forward to the future, I am determined to put my life in the hands of my Lord and Creator, trusting that as always He has a good plan for me.
May I be found worthy of living a life fully dependent on the one I call Messiah!
The Wife
Being an intelligent and headstrongwoman, I sometimes struggle with submitting to my husband especially when I hold different opinions to his. It is a continuous test of faith, obedience and trust and a commitment I made to God, not to him.
It has been said that a woman's choice of a life partner is the most significant decision of her career. I agree but add a caveat, it is the most important decision of her life.
As the head of the home, he models the type of home that you build together for your children and extended family. It is therefore important to choose a partner who matches your moral code and supports you in the pursuit of your life's purpose and service to God.
“I see you have really been trying to talk to me all evening, what do you want to tell me?”
That was the opening line to my love story with my beloved late husband, Edward Mwachinga.
When I met Ed and introduced him to the family, they were not happy with him not being a Catholic. His family being Methodist and even having a church built on the family’s land did not seem to matter. As a Catholic, there was an expectation that I needed to be married in the Catholic church but my parents were adamant that my children also needed to be raised Catholic. This impasse was unfortunately, not yet resolved by the time of our wedding and had even become a major condition in the bride price negotiations, and I had no choice, than to threaten my parents that we would elope and geet married in the registrar's office!
Fast-forward to today, and I am blessed to have had a partner in life, with whom to grow and do life with. I am proud of myself for being the courageous one to follow him around during the cocktail party, where we met, becuase good things come to those who are courageous to go after what they want.
