Marriage, not courtship, is the exam you sit

Marriage, not courtship, is the exam you sit. This exam lasts for the duration of your marriage. I admit I was quite naive when I got married. I believed that marriage was the end of the race, I had ran the race of singlehood and it had cumulated in the prize or reward called marriage. So my expectation was, now that I had arrived in Canaan, a land overflowing with milk and honey, the tough times were behind me! But over the years I have come to appreciate a number of things. God who instituted marriage is the examiner, He gets to mark the exam and keep score of how well the couple is doing. The people examined are my spouse and myself. The results will be the fruit that is born of marriage and not necessarily how well our children turn out.

When God created Adam and Eve, He put them in a relationship and He set the standards for that relationship. In a marriage we each have a role to play and we each have a standard to attain. Men, you are to love their wives as Christ loves the church, it is a sacrificial kind of love. Women, you are to submit to your husbands as unto the Lord. Submission does not come easy especially when you are an empowered twentieth century woman. But also submission does not have to mean you never get to have an opinion nor voice your opinion.

That said, leadership doesn’t give a husband the right to rob his wife of being a unique individual. He doesn’t get to disregard or mock her opinions and feelings. 

Submission of Wives to Husbands

Your success is dependant on learning the delicate balance between raising your concerns and demanding your way.

What I have had to learn in marriage is that while I can give my husband a score card and vice versa, it is not our place to judge nor condemn each other. Neither one of us is perfect, remember we live in a fallen world , we are both sinners. Marriage presents an opportunity to submit to the sanctification process of Holy Spirit. Marriage is an excellent opportunity to be the salt and light to an audience of one. Your spouse should experience the love of Christ which is kind, merciful, gracious and covers a multitude of sins. 

Marriage is just one of the many vehicles God uses to work our your salvation. We have established that husbands and wives are in an institution called marriage where Christ’s love should be reflected and where submission to Christ should be displayed. Christian marriages should testify of the love of Christ and show what surrendering to Christ looks like. I know easy said than done, but remember that the two of you are not adversaries in a minefield but rather you are partners in the garden, set about to bear fruit that should testify of the love of God.