Kindness in marriage, an untapped resource

Kindness in marriage, an untapped resource. When people think on marriage they worry about sexual prowess, sexual capability , sexual compatibility, all very carnal things. However if you want to be spiritual then one of the fruits of the Spirit is kindness. Such a simple word but very underrated in marriage. I can’t remember the last time I was intentional about being kind to my spouse. Kindness in marriage should be in the thoughts we have towards the person. Kindness in the words we speak. Kindness in the actions we take. God Himself thinks kindly towards us. 

Kind thoughts

Thoughts give birth to actions. The actions you carryout in your life, the things you tend to do start with a thought. So you can choose to have control over your mind by changing the thoughts you have. As spouses we tend to take one another for granted and fail to think on the lovely attributes that caused us to fall in love with our mate in the first instance. I tend to remember the last mistake or the thing that annoyed me most. Instead I should focus and remember the last time he did something special, kind or sweet. I should also endeavour to think up ways of  being kind myself. The bible says whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy , think about such things.

Kind words

Think before you speak (the power of the tongue), do not say the first thing that comes to mind. Resist the temptation to take out your anger, hurt, disappointment on your loved one. Remember kind words are like honey sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. Words said in anger or out of malice continue to wound the mind and soul of the person that they have been spoken to. These are invisible scars that both the offender and the victim may be unaware about. However, this will cloud the relationship and may change the nature of the relationship slowly over time.

Kind acts

What started as thoughts and manifested as words will now turn into actions. Attitude of service (do unto others what you want them to do unto you). Demonstrate your kindness to your spouse by the things you do. Do not do these acts to gain recognition or praise but do them to make their life and experience of marriage excellent and fulfilling. Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.

Now being kind may not come naturally so I have five suggestions to implement, think of it as a challenge. My children love challenges! 1.) Smile at your spouse often. 2.) Say ‘I love you to your’ spouse at least once a day 3.) Choose not to complain about the thing you complained the previous day or week. 4.) Say thank you. 5) Give your spouse a hug at least once a week. For all of you who were already doing things without realising it, give yourself a resounding pat on your back!